Joe's amazing world of sports!

I notice something about sports today. The are so much more boring then they should be.

Basket Ball

Keep the game the same as it always has been, only add one element. Each player on both teams gets a tranquilizer dart made from poisons found in a chimpabowa spider found the jungles of India thats venom induces seizers temporarily to its pray. I think each player should be able to use it at some strategic point in the game.

Base Ball

In second grade kick ball at recess the rule was you could throw the red ball at someone and they would be out. In base ball the same rules should apply. Only also the player shouldn't have to throw the bat when he is done he should be able to use it on the first, second, third, base man. Also he should be able to throw the bat at any player to discourage being hit with a ball. The bat may also be used to hit the ball being thrown at you, like Luke Skywalker with the lasers.

Foot Ball

Take away most every thing rules wise except for gettin the ball to for to the end for a touch down. Pile ups would merely be pummeling till the guy on the bottom gave in. The ref. would kinda just be there to make sure no player brought forgien devices onto the scene. Except for in Mexico.

Hockey

Keep it the same....Except take away all the rules.

Olympic speed swimming

They should have a swimmers wear rubber suits that cover everything but the face. These suits would be to stop the flow of electricity that would be ran threw the pool at random moments. They would have rubber posts that stick outta the water that they could climb up on if they wished to avoid electrocution. The jolt would be just enough to make there mussels go limp for three seconds. A light and sound would signal three seconds before the jolt would run through the water.

Boxing

Change nothing

Soccer

Keep everything the same except the ball should be a bouncy Hamster ball kinda thing. Except instead of a Hamster inside it should have a wolverine it.

Long distance jumping

Bring it to cliffs or ravines or roof tops. (if your not breaking the record you might as well brake something else.)

Cricket

LOL who cares.

Golf

Raise the stroke limit by 50 for each hole. Give the other players competing paint ball guns.

Polo

Marko?

Tennis

In Indiana Jones there is a scene where he is after an Aztec golden god. On the way to the god there are tiles on the floor that if stepped on... a dart shoots. Bring it to the tennis court.