The history of the salty piggy flavored hunk of meat in a can

In the Beginning God created a bunch of stuff. Namely men, women, water, plants, animals, light, earth, and the Yo-yo...He had given the yo-yo to Adam to help him pass the time in the garden cause things we have today weren't around to help with that. You know like football, starwars video games, or fireworks. I think Adam lost the yo-yo with the fall and it was given back after man had been sanctified, thousands of years later. Of coarse by the time it came back to us we had other things to do, plus we had more important things to do with our time now that we had a limited amount before we kicked off. So yeah...yoyos. So at some point before the yoyo and after the fall somebody named Peter had a vision of a bunch of filthy animals come'n down out of the sky, and a voice saying something like but not exactly"BAM! Spice up your life a lil' bit there Pete and try your hand at dis' delicious pork wit' tose Italian jamoke friends of yours. It's ok to eat now k?" Thousands of years pass and some one figures out how to grind this pork thing up infuse it with salt and through it in a can. Which today we call spam. Crazy Huh?