And all through da house
Joe was going all crazy
because of a mouse...
I had killed and evicted
other mice like this
but this mouse was a high powered 7 foot tall mutant that traveled a long ways from Hanaford nuclear plant. It had laser beam eye's and lizard like wings. He had huge claws and teeth bigger than his head. He wore bling like the Snoop Dog, and bled radioactive green ooze.... and it spoke....yeah, kinda sounded like Woody Allen.
But anyways, I have a computer again guys. Which means I can come to blogspot.com and leave some love for the people that read this nonsense.
Now back to the night before Christmas...
So there I was, cornered and scared ,wearing only my Napoleon Dynamite boxers and my Hello Kitty fluffy slippers. I was armed only with a spaghetti strainer and a troll doll. Not being McGiver I had no clue how to use any of it. So I threw it all at the mutant rodent...except for the slippers cause my feet are always freezing. Luckily a Shotgun was near by to cover what my boxers no longer did. Just then a horrible belching sound came from the beast. Acid shot out its mouth just barely missing my head. A hole burnt through the wall giving me a way to escape my house. As I ran shotgun in hand, down Kellogg St. screaming for my life, I looked back and saw the American flag I have by my place being lowered by the other normal mice. The mutant was still chasing me. I tripped loosing a slipper. The Mutant came up slowly behind me mumbling. In the distance I saw the replacement flag being raised. It was basically a picture of cheese with a white backdrop. I laid their paralyzed with fear as it raised it's paw for the killing blow. A bunch of Asian neighbors stepped outside and started taking pictures. Then it occurred to me! I was only using the shotgun to cover up the front of me. They were taking pictures?!? So I grabbed a butchers knife someone threw to me for some reason, and covered my back side. Then it occurred to me again!?! I'm still alive? The mutant was cliche' roaring before the final blow. Just then He was struck by a heard of animals that seemed to have fallen out of the sky. They ran before a sleigh. The guy inside the sleigh grabbed me and threw me in with him, meanwhile my Asian neighbors were still clicken away. The guy was fat, wore a red suit, and was call'n me a hoe or something. Then he handed me a brand new pair of Napoleon Dynamite boxers. I slipped them on real quick, cause the shotgun was starting to hurt, and the knife was just about frozen to my buttocks. He then asked me a question. That would changed history.
Santa asked me, "So? What do think about taking over this whole Santa thing?"
3 comments:
Oh man that's funny. I don't wear boxers...they feel weird
Oh boy - I am glad you're back! I needed a laugh tonight!
You had me at Napoleon Dynamite Boxers - Gosh! - Jennifer
my code was "ekuwup" - I think the aliens are trying to communicate 'wah's up, my dronies?'
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