Guys I know I have been depressing to talk to. I hate talking to someone that is smugg and bitter and cranky and spiteful and talking smack about God. I'm also aware most of you come to my blog for a good laugh. It's just really hard to stay funny when your lost and you literally have nothing to bring you back, and God is silent. Worship is like an empty cave. Depression screams for death to claim you. Every decision you make leaves you feeling hopeless. Every word of encouragement is like salt water feeling good temporarily quenching thirst but later drives you crazy. How do I go on? I beg for every heart beet to be my last.
24 and my quest for a personal relationship with Jesus the Christ has left me here now.
I wanna BE FUNNY AGAIN! I wanna lift your spirits when you check my blog. I want my wife to have a normal husband. I need a brake through and I don't know how to began helping myself. He is all I want. I'm sorry for all the crappy blog posts.
The Iceberg Melts
1 year ago
4 comments:
"I need a brake through and I don't know how to began helping myself."
You can't Joe. He isn't silent. He isn't ignoring you or sitting on His hands. It is all within His time. When we demand that He hurry up and work, we are the Prodigal Son saying "hurry up and die Dad, I need that inheritance money speedy quick." It wasn't his to demand and it isn't ours either. Try to abide. Breathe in breathe out. Just have Faith that He is who He said and He will accomplish all that He set out to accomplish.
Praying for you.
We don't love you because you're funny, we love you because you are....created in passion, freedom, creative, warrior. The image I saw during worship as I prayed for you was a sword driven into the ground and the word 'contend'. When you want God to hit the 'delete' button, and I have been there, the act of listing the reasons you are grateful to have experienced this life can begin to revive you. Sloppy dog kisses, coconut ice cream, hugs. Contend with truth, contend with connection. God is connected, we are designed for it. It is ALL a gift, so love already did win. This is long a post, but you are too important. God is not silent, He is speaking through the hearts of those who love you. Thank you for being real and raw.
Dianna
ps: Your physical self may need alignment, too, and depleted serotonin levels need help to re stabilize. Contend on every level.
Hope this helps.
Joe, you know we love you and pray for your complete healing. We are on your side. It is hard to hear of your kids in trouble, but we are trusting God to pull you through. Keep talking, keep meeting with people as much as you can...this is not a time to be by yourself, for both yours and Beth's sake. I know from experience that this is so hard , I've been there. But I can truly say now that God brought me through and know he will bring you through (but not around) this if you give Him permission to work on all the hidden and ugly areas of your life.
Give your wife a hug and your puppy too, they need you. We need you. Many people need you, ask Him to show you who and how.
I know words can be hollow, but as people, that's the best we can do.Just know they are sincere.
We love you, Joe
Sue
just in case your wondering, breakfast is on me...
that's why i'm heading to the shower.
see you in the morning...you will get through this.
peace
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